Article by Tom Manning 02.09.15
The question is WHY?
Why do you have your business, or why are you in this job? why are you doing what you are doing? Why grow your business?
Never stop asking this question until you have a deeply fulfilling answer, do not accept anything less than that – because ultimately finding that answer and fulfilling it is our greatest purpose here.
We are here to learn, grow, be happy and to thrive – what else is there to do here?
What do we need to learn? We must learn what is means to be human, what it means to love and care for other human beings, and what it means to be deeply contented, deeply happy, to see each and every day as a gift, because this is the TRUTH.
Does that come easily? Nope, we must apply the laws of happiness consistently over and over until we EXPERIENCE this truth.
Why does this have anything to do with your business?
Because your business is just a way to help fulfil this purpose, and if it isn’t why the hell are you doing it? To survive? Thats pretty rubbish – why would you settle for that? Why would you accept that for yourself?
You might say you have your business to create wealth – but to what end? I’m not saying don’t create wealth, what I am saying is that if you do not have a greater purpose then the wealth, ultimately, is paradoxically worthless.
So what to do then?
LEARN and GROW!! and help others do the same
To learn and grow we must first make a mistake, before we can be old and wise, we must first be young and stupid 🙂
Every day I am making mistakes, and only a few years ago I was deeply afraid people would find out, I was ashamed of my mistakes, and I was ashamed of the fact that I was afraid – what a lonely and miserable way to live – and yet to the outside world I “appeared” to be a confident, bright, energetic, positive, outgoing person – what a sham – I was just hiding from the world behind a mask.
The truth is, so are most people – alone, ashamed, and afraid – not to get morbid – but I stand for the truth not for telling people what they want to hear – which does not support growth
Lets get to the point – we don’t have to live like this, life can be a joyful exploration of ourselves, it can be fun and delightful every single moment, but we have to find someone we can TRUST to really be ourselves with, to show our mistakes and our flaws, to tell them what we are afraid of, what we are ashamed of – if there is nobody in your life that knows these things, then there is nobody in your life that really knows you.
So – now you have read this far you have a wondrous choice to make – if you want to LIVE and to THRIVE read on, if you want to just survive, if living seems too scary then stop now.
Learning to THRIVE……….
You can use your business as a vehicle for change, and it will reward you in ways you could not even comprehend right now – you must create an environment where people can be SAFE and WRONG at the same time, where they are encouraged to admit their mistakes, to share their flaws and their failures, to be ALL that they are – do not ask people to walk in and leave all their “bad” bits at the door, we condemn both of us to unhappiness, instead build your business on TRUST and TRUTH, help them to learn about their mistakes, and when they admit them, care for them, look them in the eyes and say “good for you”, “good for you for admitting your mistakes, and showing us who you really are”
Lets take a real example – Susie, a member of your team, walks in on a Saturday morning having gone out the night before, she does not really want to be there and you can FEEL that, she is acting like a victim and sucking the life out the room. Imagine you had been learning to see your mistakes and flaws including your behaviours for a while as a team, AND learning how to admit that and to tell the TRUTH about it – you say to Susie “Hey Susie, you seem a little on edge, would you like to share anything” – Susie, recognising her behaviour says “you know what, I do, I made a choice to go out last night and I feel really tired, but it was my choice and I was irresponsible, I have come in this morning thinking my job is a burden, but actually it is a gift, it pays for me to live and I have been incredible ungrateful” – she has completely exposed herself and you walk up, give her a hug and just say “good for you Susie”
Susie changes almost instantly, and what could have lingered on all day is halted, and you enjoy your time together that day. She admitted her mistake and her behaviour because 1. she had learnt to SEE it and 2. she felt SAFE to do so – wow – who knew it was just that simple, we make things SO complicated.
And you know, there are people like Susie that come into work all the time acting like victims and sucking the life out the room, and it screws them and it screws you, but the more she admits her behaviour and you accept her as a flawed human being it begins to VANISH, its very cool.
All we ever wanted was to be ALL that we are, warts and all, to be FEARLESSLY human, and to be happy with that, to be content with the fact that we really aren’t perfect, and we don’t need to be either, if our purpose if the learn and grow then we are going to make mistakes ALL the time, and those mistakes WILL get in the way of other people.
When you let people in your company be who they really are, not who they are pretending to be you get ALL of them, and that means the VERY best of them – you simply cannot have the VERY best without accepting ALL of them.
If you are serious about really thriving then read ALL my blogs at www.inspiredchangeuk.com and get in touch – if you want to learn and grow I can point you in the direction of many great resources that can support your learning.
Hope you enjoyed the post and learnt something too.